“If I don’t understand you, I may be angry at you, all the time. We are not capable of understanding each other, and that is the main source of human suffering.”
Thích Nhất Hạnh, Being Peace
What to make of this? A koan, perhaps, not to be logical but to show something deeper? Because while the first sentence is true, the second doesn’t offer much hope.
So I will read it another way. I will read it without hope, since to hope is to refuse to accept what is. Hope is the other side of fear. With hope I am wanting things to be my version of better. With fear I am afraid they will be my version of worse. With acceptance, I have to stop resisting things as they are. Then, perhaps, I can decide what right action is necessary.
Of course, the fact is that it is almost election day and the reason I am writing about this quote is because I am mostly incapable of understanding the support Trump has and when I think too much about it, anger rises. And if language matters at all, I have been noting my feelings as they arise and naming them instead of proclaiming, “I am (fill in the feeling) because whatever it is I am feeling, I am more than that. We are all more than that, although sometimes it seems not so. To look at the political landscape is to see rage and self-righteousness glorified and celebrated and to those of us who find that offensive our own rage and self-righteousness is triggered. And we each believe we are right so the immovable object meets the irresistible force.
But politically, I see no moral equivalence. The party that has been screaming for four years that the election was stolen from them despite losing by seven million votes as well as having hundreds of court cases thrown out insists they are victims. For people who say they care that elections should be fair and honest, I see no consideration of all those Biden voters they would gladly disenfranchise to declare that Trump won. Should we be grateful that with subtlety long gone, Trump and his team aren’t hiding their plans to try to steal this election should he lose?
Politics is a dirty business. But the argument “they all lie” is a false one. Trump has brought lying down to a level not seen before and his supporters do not care. The media doesn’t even seem to care. It is not okay to lie about elections being rigged and stolen. To say schools are sending children for sex change operations without parental consent. To say immigrants are eating their neighbor’s pets. To say other countries are emptying their prisons and insane asylums and sending them here. There has never been a president in the history of this country who has told as many lies about as many things as Trump.
Here is where I feel despair’s creeping tendrils as I take a breath to settle down before they twine round my heart and render me with no more to write than, “what for?”. Given the depth, breadth and scope of Trump’s lies, I’ve made a pitiful effort here. A Trump supporter would shrug in disdain and the rest of you are probably thinking of the things I could’ve mentioned that matter more. I am not politically astute. But this is one election where that doesn’t seem necessary. Look at the rage, whining, victimization, authoritarianism, rambling, incoherence and the choice of topics when Trump is speaking vs. the poise, intelligence, wit, humor and level of engagement when Harris is speaking. No, these are not things that are going to translate into your pocketbook but they do matter in terms of life lived and the way our country will be led. I do not understand how anyone thinks Trump has the temperament to be president. To have the nuclear codes. To be in that position with no one of good sense around him to stop him from his base instincts.
What I do understand is that Trump is a bully and that feels good to many because they somehow believe this means he cares about them. He will protect their world, make it the world they want it to be. And they think they will not pay a price for this. For It is the “other” – the immigrants, the blacks, the jews, the hispanics, the women, gay people, trans people, anyone who does not look or think like them – that are the problem. For the MAGA crowd, Trump will be their ultimate daddy – how they cheered when Tucker Carlson told them that this country was a like a wayward teenage girl who Trump would give a good spanking to when she got home. And no, he will not tell her this will hurt her more than it will hurt him. It will hurt her a lot more because he is Trump and he know what’s best. Besides infantilizing his supporters, this is downright creepy.
How to understand a crowd cheering at that? How to understand the cheering for any of his loathsome comments, his idiocies, his incompetence, the obscene pleasure he gets by befriending dictators and threatening those who disagree with him? I can’t. And that I can’t is the cause of suffering. Hate begets hate. Anger hurts not the one it’s directed toward but poisons the one who feels it. We only have what we give. I know these things. I know the question is not, “why?” but “what can I do?” I practice acceptance daily, I practice stepping away from the abyss that I’ve allowed to claim so much of my life. I have found that love – and kindness – are just more fun and I have experienced this more often than I thought possible.
The practice in the face of this election and all that has come with it and all that is yet to come is no different than with anything else. But I do not feel up to it. Or capable. I feel like the title of a beloved horror story by Harlan Ellison: “I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream.” Because nothing I say will change any of this. It has all been said and with a depth and eloquence I cannot match. And still the race is close. So I remember I cannot change the world, I can only change my mind about the world.
One thing I do not doubt if Trump wins: I will push deeper into my practice. There is no where else to go and nothing else to do. For now, I’ll take solace knowing I am not alone in the way I feel and look to my neighbor’s lawn sign:
“Harris – Walz
Because I am not fucking crazy.”
© 2024 Denise Smyth
Forever 21 