It’s taken two weeks of writing for me to realize what I want to say – and this isn’t it. But I’m posting this first because it’s been too long, and next because I want to show you.

I have an open heart toward animals, which is why I don’t eat them. But when I decided I wanted a dog, it wasn’t just any dog. It had to be a shih-tzu, and now I have two. There’s something I can’t figure out about this – since there are so many dogs that need homes for free, why buy one? We’re talking about sentient creatures, not the right pair of Converse. If I wanted a dog, why did it have to be a shih-tzu? Why did it have to look a certain way? Sure, even in a shelter you have to pick, but you’re picking among dogs that need homes. I bought a dog that had a waiting list of people wanting to take it home.

It’s not breeders that are the problem – if the only people selling animals were breeders, that would take care of the homeless-animal problem. But that’s a fantasy – reality is, as usual, hard and ugly. And I can’t help but look at myself more closely since Philip died, wonder why I do what I do. And given the way I feel about animals, this is a conundrum – but the short answer is I am intensely attracted to long hair, big eyes and a puggy face. And what I wanted in my heart overruled what I thought in my head. It’s not bad, it’s not good, it just is. And I’d say in general, the heart is the one to trust.

This time it was beautiful, long-haired, blue-eyed cat that I wanted, and here she is:

Nikki 8-24-14

Nikki at two months

Nikki is a Himalayan, and I pick her up on Friday. She’s named after my dad – Nicky – and my niece Nicole, who died when she was four, which I wrote a little about here. Right now Nikki’s a teeny two pounds or so. I just want to pick her up and hold her close – it’s that ache again, that wanting that is not going to go away, but maybe can be eased a little. So I’ve another baby to love, and that has got to be a good thing.

(If you’re wondering what’s up with the background in the picture, Nikki’s owner has a cat ledge in her house that’s in front of a painting of a beach. Everybody knows cat-people are crazy…need I say more? ;o)


9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Harriet Halpern
    Aug 28, 2014 @ 00:18:04

    George has gone to the great cat house in the sky, so I have a deluxe (!) litter box and carrier if you’d like to have them. Both are in perfect condition and I’d love to give them to you for your new addition to your family. –Love to you and Natalie


    • Denise
      Aug 28, 2014 @ 08:45:23

      Oh, Harriet – I didn’t know! How are you? Let’s talk – and yes, I’d love his carrier and box, to be returned the MOMENT you decide you want another kitty. Love you ;o)


  2. kmlagatree
    Aug 28, 2014 @ 08:32:45

    Can’t wait to meet Nikki this weekend!


  3. Gibber
    Aug 28, 2014 @ 15:49:33

    Awwww she’s so cute. I’m happy for you xo


  4. Unconfirmed Bachelorette
    Sep 12, 2014 @ 19:06:20

    She’s beautiful. Oh what a fluffy ball of love! I too am a sucker for fluffy. Luckily the stray that showed up on my doorstep fit the bill. She’s smart, though. I think she knew and that’s why she picked me. Nikki! I can’t wait to see more of her.


    • Denise
      Sep 14, 2014 @ 16:43:23

      She’s so funny and best of all – she adjusted to the dogs in no time. Zoe’s like her mom, licking behind her ears and all. I KNEW you’d love that I got her! ;o)


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